I am the light.

Back then, every diocesan school's tenth standard students attended a retreat at Bom Jesus, Old Goa, conducted by Fr. George D'Sa. My batch was in 1975-76. The retreat, under the guise of the Light of the World movement, welcomed all faiths. Thus, my friend Ankush, a non-Catholic, and I, a casual Catholic practitioner, shared a room for one week.

Our friendship began in ninth grade when he shifted schools. Although his second language was Marathi and mine French, I ended up attending Marathi classes in defiance due to my differences with the French teacher. Our friendship blossomed over our shared rebellious attitudes. Our discussions often revolved around questioning life's purpose and exploring vague subjects.

Ankush's father owned a shop, so cigarettes were easily accessible. We'd sit on separate branches of a tamarind tree in my backyard and discuss various topics. However, we didn't realize that our philosophical pursuits wouldn't help us in exams. As expected, we both failed our tenth grade, and to this day, I feel guilty for swaying his bright mind.

Returning to the retreat – as rebellious teenagers seeking answers and smoking in our room – one thing that influenced us was Jim Reeves' morning song "One Day at a Time" and Fr. George's serene disposition. He entered our smoky room one morning with a knowing smile but said nothing; we stopped smoking for the remainder of the retreat.

On the penultimate day, an overwhelming candlelit oath-taking ceremony took place. I walked out feeling saintly but alas, it lasted no longer than a week. Nonetheless, I recognize the impact it had on me, though not permanent.